I know how hard it is, this whole pregnancy after loss thing.
Maybe you aren’t feeling excited. Maybe you’re not up for celebrating just yet. And that’s okay. While there might seem to be a lack of enthusiasm, I know there is no lack of love for your baby. In fact, I know how very much you love your baby, and it’s that indescribable love that just might be the reason for your lack of excitement. You wonder if your baby will survive to feel that love, the love that can only come from a mother. You worry that your overwhelming love for your baby might go unnoticed again, and it scares you. You’re don’t want to let yourself get too excited because you’re unsure if this pregnancy will turn out like the last one, that indescribable love breaking your heart instead of making it beat.
It’s okay to be scared, Mama. It’s okay to be nervous, cautious, and worried. It’s okay to put up walls of self-protection. It’s normal. It’s understandable. Those feelings are the result of not being able to predict the future. You know all too well that there are no guarantees in this life and an unknown future can sure be scary.
But in between the fear and anxiety, try to squeeze in a little hope. Just a little. Because that unknown future might just bring joy instead of disappointment. That unknown future might end up being better than you could ever imagine.
When you are scared about the future and worried that you might not get the chance to be a mom, remember that you already are. You already are a mom. Maybe that fact is unknown to the rest of the world, but you know the truth. And so do I. You are a mom.
And what is the most important thing that a mother can do? Love. That’s it. And we both know how great your capacity to love is. I know how much you love your baby who is gone and I see how well you love the baby you are carrying. So go on, keep loving that baby you are waiting for. Love ignites hope and that unknown future might just end up being the future that your dreams are made of.
So carry on in love and hope. And accept the fear and worry – those things are okay too, they really are. I’m here to love with you, and hope for you. I’m here to acknowledge your fear and listen to your worries. And I’m here to tell you that you’re going to be a great mom. Wait, you already are.
Sending all my love,
This article was originally published at Pregnancy After Loss Support.
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