Grief and Gratitude Can Coexist

“Just be thankful for what you have.” It’s a comment that people who are grieving hear over and over. At least in my experience.

I cannot count the number of times I was told to “just be thankful” for my living child after two pregnancies resulted in loss. As if I didn’t have the right to grieve because at least I had something that was good. As if gratitude for one life would simply erase the pain of losing two lives who had called my very own womb home.

I promise you that I was grateful. But I still grieved.

Because grief and gratitude can coexist. We can be thankful for what we have while we grieve whatever or whoever it is that we do not.

I don’t doubt that practicing gratitude can be a powerful force when facing one of life’s many trials. But grief is powerful too, and perhaps more importantly, it is necessary.

This life offers so very much to be thankful for – so many beautiful gifts, so many precious lives that cannot be replaced. And when we lose one of those beautiful gifts, one of those precious lives? Well, we then have every reason in the world to grieve.

Let’s stop telling those who are grieving to simply be thankful for what they have and instead acknowledge the pain surrounding what they do not.