Christmas can be difficult for mothers who have lost a baby.
After all, it is a holiday centered around the birth of a baby, a newborn King.
It’s hard for us grieving mothers to focus on anything other than what we’re missing – a baby, our child, a piece of our heart. The sights and sounds of the season bring turmoil instead of peace. The sparkle and glitz lose their luster as we are forced to accept the fact that a life once within us has gone dark.
The gifts remind us of the child who is not there to receive one.
The photos seem to highlight the baby who is absent.
The joyous carols leave us longing to feel joy.
The twinkling lights are unable to erase the darkness of grief.
And yet, there is hope.
That baby born on the first Christmas lived so that he could die – with the purpose of relieving all of our pain.
And even though our babies have died, we have the assurance that they still live – in heaven and in our hearts.
We have the promise of meeting with that baby who was placed in the manger all those years ago. And because of that promise, we are certain to be reunited with our babies who went from the womb to the grave.
It’s okay if you are in a season when sorrow outweighs joy. It’s a season of suffering, a season of grief. And you are human. The longing, the anguish, the hurt – it’s all part of outliving your child.
You don’t have to have it all together.
In fact, you have permission to lose it. To lose yourself in the heartache and longing. To lose your composure. To lose control. To lose any sense of joy and contentment.
But hope? Don’t let that get lost in the mud and the muck of grief. Cling to that with everything you’ve got.
Because one day your hope will lead to perfect healing. And everything you’ve lost will once again be found.
Our babies are waiting for us. Let’s hang onto hope as we wait for them.