So You Cried and I Held You

You were a colicky one Baby Boy and oh, how I wished for those days to pass.

Those days that were full of nothing but crying and I could do nothing but hold you.

Those days when you cried and I cried right along with you.

We were both so tired, but sleep was elusive.

Your need to cry outweighed your desire to sleep.

So you cried and I held you.

 

As those days of nonstop crying came to an end, I rejoiced!

The end of your crying meant the beginning of a new season for me.

A season that included showering, making a phone call, and maybe even reading a book.

But the end of your crying also meant a new season for you.

A season in which you started the path towards independence.

 

As time has passed, your need to be held has diminished.

You have gained freedom and discovered independence.

The world around you has captured your attention; a world full of fascinating things that cannot be found in mama’s arms.

You no longer allow me to hold you for more than a few seconds.

I pick you up and you immediately demand to be put back down.

You are busy. You have things to do. You don’t have time to rest in mama’s arms anymore.

 

But today, you cried. All day. Just like you did all those months ago.

Freedom and independence aren’t much good when you don’t have the energy to enjoy them.

You needed the safety and comfort of mama’s arms.

You were sick, too sick to sleep.

So you cried and I held you.

And I didn’t wish one moment of it away.