Please don’t forget about the baby I lost.
I know I’m pregnant again and you’re excited for me.
Trust me, I’m grateful.
But as you talk to me about the baby I’m carrying, please don’t forget about the one I carried. The one I never held.
Please don’t forget that this rainbow baby—or what I hope will be my rainbow baby—is being carried right now because I had to say goodbye to the baby I carried before.
Please don’t forget that while I’m currently expecting, I’d expected to already have a newborn in my arms. But I don’t.
Please don’t forget that because I’ve lost a baby, I’m not sure I’m going to get to keep this one.
PLEASE DON’T FORGET.
This is the battle cry of moms who are pregnant after loss.
For we are battling grief and despair and hopelessness and fear. We are battling for the life of the baby we’re carrying, but also for the life of the baby we lost.
We need you to remember the life of the baby you never saw.
We need you to remember the pain we carry.
We need you to remember that now, because of loss, pregnancy is hard.
We need you to remember that we can’t always be excited about this pregnancy because we know sometimes babies die.
Yes, we need you to hope for us. To be excited for us. To encourage us.
But please don’t forget that because we lost a baby, pregnancy is different now.
Yes, I’m pregnant again. And I’m grateful. This IS what I wanted. But I’m also scared. I no longer know what to expect when I’m expecting.
Thank you for your optimism. I need it.
But please don’t forget about the baby I lost.
Because for me, that loss changed everything.
And no matter how many more babies I have, I’ll never forget the one I don’t.
Need encouragement for pregnancy after loss? Find it here: Courageously Expecting: 30 Days of Encouragement for Pregnancy After Loss.